I have been incredibly flat lately. Lovely psychiatrist tells me that sadness & depression are an improvement on fear & dissociation. I am sure that he is right but it really doesn't make it easier.
I told him that my kitchen reno is supposed to start next week and I am not even excited about it anymore. He suggested that perhaps the reality of the work, the inconvenience or a time, the mess and the fact that there is going to be strangers, men, in my house. The place that is my safe zone. I hadn't thought of that but it does make sense. He said that once it is finished I will probably find myself more excited.