I feel so desperate.
Desperate for any little glimmer of light. There are so few of them. Everything is so dark and so bleak. Even the specks of light seem to be dulled by the ever deepening darkness that is consuming me. Things which have been previously anticipated and enjoyable are tainted by the self-doubt and self-loathing seeping out of every pore of my being.
I feel like I am falling, spiralling down into nothingness.I am scrambling around trying to grasp onto any tiny little thing good but it all seems to be just in front off me, just out of reach.
I feel so useless. I should be coping better than this. I shouldn't feel this way anymore. They tell me I am doing so good, I have come so far. Maybe but I still feel lost in the dark. I am still terrified of the world.
I don't see anything good, anything worthwhile. Why would anyone else?